I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
it glows. i had to have it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
