Umm I'm too high to move.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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