somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
