I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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