apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just google imaged poop.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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