The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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