HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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