The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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