It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
