What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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