Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
