so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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