ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
