I only kidnapped one of them. chill
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
