thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
