I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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