I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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