oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
