I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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