I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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