its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
