Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
