I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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