I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
