im about as happy as oj after his trial
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
His hands were made for my vagina.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
