Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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