but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
