your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
