hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
