no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
