ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
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She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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