I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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