you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
