I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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