mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
