operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
