I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
