You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
