Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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