you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
