he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
