I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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