life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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