Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
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you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
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Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I had to cum in my sink.
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