Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
