If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize