i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize