Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
