if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
