And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
