all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
