I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
