I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
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I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
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Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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