Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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