how hairy? two words: wookie tits
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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