at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
