I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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