she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
