there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
