So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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