how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dick very happy bro
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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