she looked like the bat from fern gully.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
