Duck Duck Cougar?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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