At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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