Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Are we still banned from the library?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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