Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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